I’ve had a few different posts I’ve been wanting to make lately, but life is short and free time in my life is even shorter, so I decided to lump it all together here.
I am not a saint. When I am extremely stressed out I am kind of known for dropping the F bomb. I know I should never do this in front of the kids, but.... I’m human and it has.
Juniper, Rivi and I rushed to the post office Monday right before nap time (strike #1) and both of them were on that slippery slope of losing all rationality when sleepiness takes over. The line was out the door (strike #2) but I had just lugged them and all of the packages out of the car and I was determined to make this work. Midway through line and Juniper starts getting antsy. I quietly bribe her with a cake pop because I was daydreaming about coffee anyways. Let’s just say ... she did not earn a cake pop. On the way to the car I’m holding Rivi on my hip and carrying a kicking and screaming Juniper out to the car surfboard style - when she calls me a name.
Ok. Back pedal. Her new thing when she is frustrated is to make up a stream of insults to call you. Luckily she thinks “middle” is a bad word and it usually goes “you stinky angry mad bad middle boo boo boob guy mad middle head.” Whatever, kid. Get it out. Well ...
In the post office parking lot on a very busy day, getting a few stares because of my wailing toddler, Juniper screams “I WAS BEHAVED ENOUGH FOR A CAKE POP, FUCK HEAD. “
I’m in total disbelief. I have better insults than that, so she’s definitely never heard me call anyone a Fhead. I try to ignore it and somehow strap her into the car seat (anyone notice how a tantrumy toddler legit turns into an octopus? For some reason there’s extra arms and legs and wrestling them into the car seat is nothing short of a miracle. Anyways. This is where she calls me the name again. I think she’s more afraid that I’m being totally silent.
I slam her door because I can have attitude too, Juniper. ;)
I squat down below the window where she cannot see me, and I laugh harder than I have in my entire life. Until tears are streaming down my face and I’m having to catch my breathe. Because WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?? I get in the car silent still and she’s pretty concerned. We talk about name calling, she knows that one is a huge no, she loses tv for the day, and all is well.
Which leads into story #2. I’ve been ready to take away all screen time for a while but needed the motivation. That was my motivAtion. (Also reading that article where screen time to kids is like cocaine to adults). I told Juniper the doc called and explained how bad TV is for our brain and that from now on she can only get one show in the morning while I make breakfast, and then it’s off for the rest of the day. My child is a brand new child and were only on day 4. She plays again, she’s kind, there has been no name calling. She’s sleeping better, eating better, interested in crafts and learning and constantly wanting to be outside. It’s amazing. Not going to lie, a little more exhausting for me. But it forces me to stay present, put my phone down, and really BE with the kids all day. I go to bed way more exhausted, but I have a little more pride in our day. Worth it.
Which leads me to my closing story. Recently I stepped out of the shower and asked Juniper to bring me a towel, I had wet curly hair and clearly was naked, she walks in and says “here’s a towel mom, oh wow, you look like MAUI”. (From Moana. I’ll include pic). I was thinking ok, maybe this isn’t so bad. So I said “I look super strong and powerful?!” And she says “No mom. You have crazy hair and a squishy tummy”. (I made sure she knew I was proud of my squishy tummy that grew my babies ... but still hurt a little 😂)
Life with toddlers, y’all. Just keeping it real. And forever keeping their parents humble.
(Ps - Rivi is a chill angel baby who I can’t get enough of. He’s independent and learning to tantrum so don’t worry, he will get some more blog time soon enough :)
