I've been in the hospital two weeks now. Baby Rivi and I have made it to 31 weeks pregnant, which is amazing. The goal is 3-4 more.
I'm struggling today. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, today is dreary and rainy and I just want to be home with my family and warm by the fire with our dogs. It's weird, bc I know the hospital is the safest place for Rivi, and I know the doctors fully believe in hospital bed rest after PPROM bc the risk of infection for him or I is way too high to risk going home and not making it back in time, or not catching something wrong early enough. I know the monitoring 3-4x a day is very important for baby. I KNOW all of these things. Yet it doesn't really make being here any easier. Mostly bc I feel ok. I'm not in pain or really uncomfortable and I FEEL like I could be home on bed rest. (Realistically how much would I stay in bed w/ a Juniper and dogs and chores?). So I get it.
But this sucks. I just went to the hospital gift shop before it closes for holidays and got something for Renee and Chris, and a few things for Juniper. Bc I feel like I'm totally slacking for Christmas. There won't be any Santa laid out for my girl, there won't be the Christmas morning food and treats I had planned or leaving cookies for Santa and his reindeer... and even though I know I have next year, it hurts. And I know she won't remember, and I know Chris could do it all without me, but it just feels all wrong. And so, so sad.
Ultimately all I want is this baby boy to be safe and healthy and a very short Nicu stay. I want to hold him and cuddle him and know that all of this was not for vain, but for his very livelihood. I hopes he's planning on being a mamas boy because he's already made me worry so much he's never leaving my sight ;)
Hope ya didn't come here for a happy, positive, uplifting read, bc I don't have it in me. I know it could be worse. I know others have it way worse. I know I'm blessed to have amazing doctor care and loving supportive husband and a mother in law who jumped on a plane to immediately come help with Juniper. It just doesn't feel like Christmas. Bah Humbug
Friday, December 23, 2016
Friday, December 16, 2016
PPROM
PPROM
Preterm premature rupture of membranes. My water broke Saturday 12/10/16 in my sleep at 5:30 AM. At 29 weeks 1 day pregnant. I calmly got dressed and asked Chris not to come to the hospital with me because Juniper was sleeping and we all know how important toddler sleep is. I also assumed they would tell me I peed my pants and to go home. The nurses probably assumed that would be the case too. After they confirmed it was amniotic fluid the entire mood in the room shifted. The nurses were nervous glancing. This changed things. This was hospital bed rest. This was premature baby. This was no going home to see my girl and husband. I cried. Hard. Ugly cried. I almost felt bad for the nurses and doctor, but I couldn't control it.
I was told no matter what we won't keep Rivi in past 34 weeks bc it's too dangerous for him and myself. No matter what we're looking at here, there's going to be a nicu stay. Statistically labor happens within 48 hours of PPROM, and the rest within a week. I'm holding hope that I am one of the few who make it weeks.
This only happens to 5% of women without a pre-existing medical condition. I am one of the 5%.
I won't go into details of the emotions over the past few days or even now, because I don't want to type them and relive them or even share them yet, maybe ever. But they were far, far from positive.
I've had IV of antibiotics, Rivi has gotten his steroid shots for his lungs, and we were on every 6hr monitoring. On Saturday my amniotic fluid was a 12 (normal is 5-22). So low end, but okay. I couldn't go home bc risk of infection and preterm labor was too probable.
Today at 29w6days (in 2.5 hours we get to say 30 weeks!) Rivi had an irregular monitoring session. His heartrate was dipping like crazy. We got the ultrasound guy in here and his amniotic fluid is down to just 2.5. I am on constant monitoring now and the worry about my premature baby is back full force. Every ache, every pain, every tightening or cramping of stomach and I'm worried that labor is beginning.
I'm trying to make this update be factual, not emotional. I'm not ready to share or address these emotions. All I can say is, this is hard. This sucks. But every day Rivi stays in, is another day to a healthier baby and a shorter Nicu stay.
At this point I have no control, and no idea what may happen. Depending on how baby is doing I will possibly be having an emergency c-section. I wanted vaginal. Babies can't suckle/nurse until 33 weeks, I wanted to breastfeed desperately. All I want now is healthy. My tiny love will be on a CPAP for breathing and a feeding tube until we can get him old enough and strong enough to nurse. And only having those two things is absolutely best case scenario.
We were told to get helicopter insurance (so we did). If he needs a procedure we will have to be flown to Portland. My mind can't wrap around all of this. I can't process it yet.
So that's the gist of details for those who have been wondering the medical/technical side. They are currently setting up a delivery area in my room, where as they don't believe it will necessarily be tonight, but when things change they change quickly and they want to be prepared.
Right now I'm savoring the hour or so that I see Chris and Juniper a day, and hoping/praying this baby stays inside and grows stronger for a while longer. I know the NICU journey will be much more difficult than the bed rest journey, and I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself.
Thank you so much for all of the flowers, calls, txt, messages, comments, prayers and love. They're so appreciated.
Preterm premature rupture of membranes. My water broke Saturday 12/10/16 in my sleep at 5:30 AM. At 29 weeks 1 day pregnant. I calmly got dressed and asked Chris not to come to the hospital with me because Juniper was sleeping and we all know how important toddler sleep is. I also assumed they would tell me I peed my pants and to go home. The nurses probably assumed that would be the case too. After they confirmed it was amniotic fluid the entire mood in the room shifted. The nurses were nervous glancing. This changed things. This was hospital bed rest. This was premature baby. This was no going home to see my girl and husband. I cried. Hard. Ugly cried. I almost felt bad for the nurses and doctor, but I couldn't control it.
I was told no matter what we won't keep Rivi in past 34 weeks bc it's too dangerous for him and myself. No matter what we're looking at here, there's going to be a nicu stay. Statistically labor happens within 48 hours of PPROM, and the rest within a week. I'm holding hope that I am one of the few who make it weeks.
This only happens to 5% of women without a pre-existing medical condition. I am one of the 5%.
I won't go into details of the emotions over the past few days or even now, because I don't want to type them and relive them or even share them yet, maybe ever. But they were far, far from positive.
I've had IV of antibiotics, Rivi has gotten his steroid shots for his lungs, and we were on every 6hr monitoring. On Saturday my amniotic fluid was a 12 (normal is 5-22). So low end, but okay. I couldn't go home bc risk of infection and preterm labor was too probable.
Today at 29w6days (in 2.5 hours we get to say 30 weeks!) Rivi had an irregular monitoring session. His heartrate was dipping like crazy. We got the ultrasound guy in here and his amniotic fluid is down to just 2.5. I am on constant monitoring now and the worry about my premature baby is back full force. Every ache, every pain, every tightening or cramping of stomach and I'm worried that labor is beginning.
I'm trying to make this update be factual, not emotional. I'm not ready to share or address these emotions. All I can say is, this is hard. This sucks. But every day Rivi stays in, is another day to a healthier baby and a shorter Nicu stay.
At this point I have no control, and no idea what may happen. Depending on how baby is doing I will possibly be having an emergency c-section. I wanted vaginal. Babies can't suckle/nurse until 33 weeks, I wanted to breastfeed desperately. All I want now is healthy. My tiny love will be on a CPAP for breathing and a feeding tube until we can get him old enough and strong enough to nurse. And only having those two things is absolutely best case scenario.
We were told to get helicopter insurance (so we did). If he needs a procedure we will have to be flown to Portland. My mind can't wrap around all of this. I can't process it yet.
So that's the gist of details for those who have been wondering the medical/technical side. They are currently setting up a delivery area in my room, where as they don't believe it will necessarily be tonight, but when things change they change quickly and they want to be prepared.
Right now I'm savoring the hour or so that I see Chris and Juniper a day, and hoping/praying this baby stays inside and grows stronger for a while longer. I know the NICU journey will be much more difficult than the bed rest journey, and I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself.
Thank you so much for all of the flowers, calls, txt, messages, comments, prayers and love. They're so appreciated.
Monday, November 21, 2016
almost 2..... mama denial....
HOW are you almost 2 😩
Juniper will be TWO years old in 6.5 weeks. I can barely wrap my brain around this. It feels as if time has flown by and it couldn't possibly be two years already, and that you've been here all along. There's so much I want to remember:
- You're counting! To 10, all on your own and unprompted. Pretty sure you only understand what 1 and 2 are, but it's still precious to hear and see how proud you are.
- Your vocabulary is astounding to us. We're always amazed at what you remember, repeat, and come up with.
- Some favorite phrases of ours:
- "sit by" or "sit bottom" when you either want to sit on the counter, or want us to sit by you.
- "Ohhhhh I sowwy mama. I sowwy. You k?"
- After a big sadness or tantrum with tears "I cyin mama. I cy"
- Danks ma!
- You only drink water and milk, and anything you aren't allowed to have you think is "beer". Was cute at first, but it's a little awkward walking through a store super pregnant while you point at bottles or cans and call them "mommy daddy beer!" At least you've learned coffee now and mostly yell out "mama cofE daddy beer!"
- You have come to with your own sort of rationalizing/self soothing. If you can't have something at that moment you usually stop fussing and say "k. Store laler" (later!) even if we say no to iPad usage, you tell yourself it's ok, get one at the store later 😂
- You're obsessed with doggies. You wake up asking to go visit Sheba at the farm and randomly talk about her. Yesterday at an outdoor restaurant you were making your rounds and petting all the dogs (thanks Oregon!) and ran straight up to a huge pit bull. No fear, my girl.
- I semi regret ever buying a wagon bc you are 100% OVER the stroller. It's wagon or nothing!
- Your fave foods are apples, asparagus, eggs, and unfortunately any chip daddy will let you have. You cried so hard for the jalapeño chips he had that you ate a few like a champ, just to prove your point.
- You did better with our big move than expected. You need mama to rub your back for you to fall asleep now, and I have to remind myself to see it as a blessing and not an annoyance, bc one day you won't want me to anymore.
- Your tantrums are tenfold. I can't even.
- When another child cries when we are out and you are nearby you walk your shy self over and silently lay your hands on their back or pat them until their mommies come over. Melts my whole heart. Kindness and compassion go a long way, and I hope it's something we can instill for a lifetime.
- You HATE Santa. You even told us you don't want new toys if they have to come from "dat man" 😂
- You love looking at photo albums and pointing out your family members. You beg to FaceTime neenee every couple of days!
- Harper and Poncho are either your best friends or biggest enemies, depending if you're defending a snack or not.
- One of my faves ... when I'm laying with you you crawl up really close and ball up your fists and gently rub them over my eyes while saying "tired mama? Tired? It's ok mama. Tired".
- Singing is your passion. For now. Seriously. You ask to sing/dance multiple times a day. No matter what is on you are humming along and pretending you know the words.
- Your hand motions to the wheels on the bus are the cutest things I've ever seen.
We love you so much, sweet wild child.
Juniper will be TWO years old in 6.5 weeks. I can barely wrap my brain around this. It feels as if time has flown by and it couldn't possibly be two years already, and that you've been here all along. There's so much I want to remember:
- You're counting! To 10, all on your own and unprompted. Pretty sure you only understand what 1 and 2 are, but it's still precious to hear and see how proud you are.
- Your vocabulary is astounding to us. We're always amazed at what you remember, repeat, and come up with.
- Some favorite phrases of ours:
- "sit by" or "sit bottom" when you either want to sit on the counter, or want us to sit by you.
- "Ohhhhh I sowwy mama. I sowwy. You k?"
- After a big sadness or tantrum with tears "I cyin mama. I cy"
- Danks ma!
- You only drink water and milk, and anything you aren't allowed to have you think is "beer". Was cute at first, but it's a little awkward walking through a store super pregnant while you point at bottles or cans and call them "mommy daddy beer!" At least you've learned coffee now and mostly yell out "mama cofE daddy beer!"
- You have come to with your own sort of rationalizing/self soothing. If you can't have something at that moment you usually stop fussing and say "k. Store laler" (later!) even if we say no to iPad usage, you tell yourself it's ok, get one at the store later 😂
- You're obsessed with doggies. You wake up asking to go visit Sheba at the farm and randomly talk about her. Yesterday at an outdoor restaurant you were making your rounds and petting all the dogs (thanks Oregon!) and ran straight up to a huge pit bull. No fear, my girl.
- I semi regret ever buying a wagon bc you are 100% OVER the stroller. It's wagon or nothing!
- Your fave foods are apples, asparagus, eggs, and unfortunately any chip daddy will let you have. You cried so hard for the jalapeño chips he had that you ate a few like a champ, just to prove your point.
- You did better with our big move than expected. You need mama to rub your back for you to fall asleep now, and I have to remind myself to see it as a blessing and not an annoyance, bc one day you won't want me to anymore.
- Your tantrums are tenfold. I can't even.
- When another child cries when we are out and you are nearby you walk your shy self over and silently lay your hands on their back or pat them until their mommies come over. Melts my whole heart. Kindness and compassion go a long way, and I hope it's something we can instill for a lifetime.
- You HATE Santa. You even told us you don't want new toys if they have to come from "dat man" 😂
- You love looking at photo albums and pointing out your family members. You beg to FaceTime neenee every couple of days!
- Harper and Poncho are either your best friends or biggest enemies, depending if you're defending a snack or not.
- One of my faves ... when I'm laying with you you crawl up really close and ball up your fists and gently rub them over my eyes while saying "tired mama? Tired? It's ok mama. Tired".
- Singing is your passion. For now. Seriously. You ask to sing/dance multiple times a day. No matter what is on you are humming along and pretending you know the words.
- Your hand motions to the wheels on the bus are the cutest things I've ever seen.
We love you so much, sweet wild child.
Monday, November 14, 2016
Dreamers dream they never die
We're here! WEVE MOVED TO OREGON! I can tell you that 7 years ago no part of my brain could fathom that my future would consist of: marrying my best friend. having his babies. moving to Colorado. My man killing it in the medical marijuana business and expanding to Oregon to be his own COO. Y'all. I can't talk about this move without talking about how proud I am of Chris. So many of us have big dreams. We talk about them and think about them and even go as far as to planning them out. But how many of us leap? Chris took that leap. We moved across the country 4 years ago with little money and no jobs, but he had a plan. We borrowed and scrimped by and even though so many times life would have been easier to just give up, Chris persevered. On top of working his ass off 24/7, he became a daddy. His priorities shifted to providing for his family but never slacking with work, never not planning and perfecting his trade. (Growing pot isn't easy. It may be controversial, it may not be thought if as a craft, but so much goes into it, especially when you care the way Chris does. When you want to be proud of your final product.) I've watched Chris try many methods, not all of them being successful. I've watched him get frustrated and tired and pessimistic, and I've watched him get over it, try harder, and succeed. Are things going to get magically easier now that we are in Oregon? Absolutely not. As with any company, the start up will be slow. The return may be slow. Many obstacles will arise. But I've watched Chris from the beginning, and when he loses faith in himself and his dreams, I've got his back. I believe in his dreams! Because I KNOW he's more than capable. He inspires me everyday to be a better person. To try harder. To work harder. To push harder. That's my mindset with being in a new town with a toddler and soon to be newborn. We will persevere. We will make a wonderful life here because we're blessed to be where we are. Follow your dreams. Even if they take you 2,200 miles from your friends and family and the place you've always known, go after them. Family won't go anywhere, and neither will your true friends. Your dreams are far more capable of passing you by, go get them. It won't be easy! It will be worth it. ✌️️😘
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Election.
I've battled with posting anything. Ive struggled to keep my mouth shut on social media as people say the "libtards" need to get over it. I've never been at a loss for words but when I sit down to write my feelings on this election, I don't know where to start. When people tell me I shouldn't be sad, afraid, or disheartened at the state of our country. I've had multiple friends text or call or email me upset that I am upset about Trump winning the election. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to grieve. I'm allowed to feel the way I feel, just as everyone else is.
My mom raised me to be loving and accepting of everyone. We are all the same. Generations have struggled to move towards equality for woman, all races, the LGBT community. In my heart, I truly believe we just took years off of this progress, and that saddens me. I want my children to be raised in an America full of diversity, open mindedness, acceptance of others and our differences. I want to live in that America as well.
I fear for the immigrant who will soon be torn from their families. Children from their parents. Husbands from wives. I am all for making changes necessary to control the amount of immigrants coming in, but these people came here for a chance at a better future. For a chance to flee a war-ridden country. For the chance to offer their children an education. Neither you nor I have been in that situation. I do know, I would do whatever I felt necessary to protect my family and children. If that meant seeking more safety illegally in another country than I currently had in my own, sign me up.
I fear for the Muslim community who have had to spend everyday since 9/11 worried about being profiled. Now it's not just a suspicion of theirs, it's a truth. For everyone in a hijab who is looked at as an extremist, terrorist, someone to fear.
I fear for a country governed by people so against the LGBT community. Pence has spent years supporting "gay cure" therapy, where he wanted to take money from HIV research and put it into sexual conversion therapy. To know our leaders are someone who believe homosexuality is something that can be cured, or more so NEEDS to be cured, it hurts my heart. In 2006 Pence signed a bill to ban same sex marriage. In 2013 Pence signed a bill that would jail same-sex couples in Indiana who applied for a marriage license. To prove that he wasn’t singling gay people out, Pence was also willing to jail marriage clerks who supplied a license or clergy who performed the wedding
I don't even think I need to list all of the examples of President Elect Trump being racist or sexist. I don't need to explain why I believe what I do with my body should be my own choice. I don't believe in fracking. I do believe in climate change. I do pay my taxes. He and I simply don't see eye to eye.
I am not just upset that Donald Trump is our next President. I am upset that over 50% of Americans either truly stand by him in all of his out dated beliefs, or that they chose to vote for him regardless of them. I am from the south, y'all. 90% of my friends voted for Trump. Do I think less of them? No. Do I judge them for having a differenting opinion than my own? No. Do I feel I can voice my thoughts and concerns openly with them? Not anymore.
I've prayed a lot. I pray that Donald Trump is a good president. I pray that women don't lose their rights. I pray that people who are in line with me can help our fellow HUMANS, whether homosexual or black or Muslim or Hispanic or in our country illegally or not, I pray that we can help ease the pain they feel. I pray that they know that not all of us see them differently. I pray for peace of mind, that I can accept this outcome and not stay bitter for too long.
My mom raised me to be loving and accepting of everyone. We are all the same. Generations have struggled to move towards equality for woman, all races, the LGBT community. In my heart, I truly believe we just took years off of this progress, and that saddens me. I want my children to be raised in an America full of diversity, open mindedness, acceptance of others and our differences. I want to live in that America as well.
I fear for the immigrant who will soon be torn from their families. Children from their parents. Husbands from wives. I am all for making changes necessary to control the amount of immigrants coming in, but these people came here for a chance at a better future. For a chance to flee a war-ridden country. For the chance to offer their children an education. Neither you nor I have been in that situation. I do know, I would do whatever I felt necessary to protect my family and children. If that meant seeking more safety illegally in another country than I currently had in my own, sign me up.
I fear for the Muslim community who have had to spend everyday since 9/11 worried about being profiled. Now it's not just a suspicion of theirs, it's a truth. For everyone in a hijab who is looked at as an extremist, terrorist, someone to fear.
I fear for a country governed by people so against the LGBT community. Pence has spent years supporting "gay cure" therapy, where he wanted to take money from HIV research and put it into sexual conversion therapy. To know our leaders are someone who believe homosexuality is something that can be cured, or more so NEEDS to be cured, it hurts my heart. In 2006 Pence signed a bill to ban same sex marriage. In 2013 Pence signed a bill that would jail same-sex couples in Indiana who applied for a marriage license. To prove that he wasn’t singling gay people out, Pence was also willing to jail marriage clerks who supplied a license or clergy who performed the wedding
I don't even think I need to list all of the examples of President Elect Trump being racist or sexist. I don't need to explain why I believe what I do with my body should be my own choice. I don't believe in fracking. I do believe in climate change. I do pay my taxes. He and I simply don't see eye to eye.
I am not just upset that Donald Trump is our next President. I am upset that over 50% of Americans either truly stand by him in all of his out dated beliefs, or that they chose to vote for him regardless of them. I am from the south, y'all. 90% of my friends voted for Trump. Do I think less of them? No. Do I judge them for having a differenting opinion than my own? No. Do I feel I can voice my thoughts and concerns openly with them? Not anymore.
I've prayed a lot. I pray that Donald Trump is a good president. I pray that women don't lose their rights. I pray that people who are in line with me can help our fellow HUMANS, whether homosexual or black or Muslim or Hispanic or in our country illegally or not, I pray that we can help ease the pain they feel. I pray that they know that not all of us see them differently. I pray for peace of mind, that I can accept this outcome and not stay bitter for too long.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Thyroid 🙄
I've spent 7 years trying to figure out how to "feel better" and lose weight. More important than the weight gain, was figuring out the exhaustion, muscle pain, and swollen face. I started out on synthroid in 2010 where a doctor told me "bad news! You have hypothyroid and need medication for the rest of your life. Good news! You will lose the weight you've gained and the brain fog will go away and you will feel amazing" I was young and naive and I believed her. I did no research. Just trusted her and my little synthroid pill. I then gained 50
More lbs. Everything hurt. I couldn't concentrate or focus and my nannying jobs that I loved went from fun days to work. I spent 3 years like this until we moved to Colorado and I switched to Armour thyroid. (It's natural dessicated pig thyroid and isn't often prescribed without some pushing from the patient.). I switched and felt so much better. I still
couldn't lose weight. I still couldn't grow my eyebrows back. But my body didn't hurt and I had a little more energy so I took it as a win. This pregnancy I wasn't responding well to a higher dose of armour. With many tears and frustration they convinced me to take a small
Dose of synthroid along with my armour. Fine. Your synthetic drugs that gave me serious depression. I'll do it because this growing baby needs it. Fast forward two months in, and regardless of normal
Pregnant symptoms and exhaustion, I am starting to feel like the old me. The energetic, motivated, OPEN EYED me. (See pic!). My eyebrows are growing back. Last pregnancy I was already up 15 lbs at this point (I gained a total of 55 and didn't lose any after Juniper was born, only the 8lbs of Juniper!) this pregnancy I am down 6 lbs. which is insane considering I can't lose weight even when I TRY. (Don't worry baby is healthy!) I don't know why I'm responding this time around, the doctors believe it's because I was under medicated while in Atlanta. So will this feeling better stick around after baby and we totally switch my meds? Who knows. But for a girl who had totally given up on losing weight, seeing her eyelids or eyebrows again, or not hurting all day, it gives me HOPE!!!! And life is a lot less dreary looking with renewed HOPE!
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Road trip to Oregon! W/ a toddler!
I've read SO many blog and advice posts on "best ways to road trip with a toddler" and "traveling with toddler made easy!" Y'all, AINT NOTHING EASY about a 20hr car ride with a 19 month old. NOTHING.
(Just realized this is our first trip EVER where Chris and I didn't take a single selfie 😱)
We made it through, she did way better than I could have ever imagined. (Also what kid can be in the car for 11 straight hours and not fall asleep? MY KID).
She also got non stop iPad usage and portable DVD player. While I stand behind "we couldn't have done it without it", when we got home is was absolutely time to do away with any and all screen time. (Also drastically changed our diets because no matter how hard you try, it's really hard to eat healthy on a 7 day road trip).
Day 5 into our new rules, and I'm not kidding, Juniper is my sweet fun toddler again. We laugh and sing and play and she PLAYS ON HER OWN again for the first time in months. We're probably reading 50 books a day, but it beats her tantrumming for the iPad and I love reading to her.
We (I) was getting lax about her food choices. If she refused fruit I would just give her a cracker. If daddy had chips, she could share chips. She would tantrum in kitchen and refuse all healthy snacks and meals and I would just give her something else and let her win. After our trip I started reading about ideal toddler eating and snack schedules (we decided on one where the AM snack can be a simple carb like graham crackers, but the after nap one must be healthy such as yogurt or melon or apples and peanut butter/ cucumbers and ranch/ etx. I also moved dinner to 5:30 so that we wouldn't be giving her an extra snack in there to buy time to a later dinner. Oh my gosh, every night this week she's eaten all the veggies she has refused for months (and second helpings, too!)
In the morning I used to give her a cup of dry cereal to hold her off until I was awake bough to cook breakfast, then she started refusing real breakfast, snacking all morning, and not eating a good lunch. I skip the cereal and make my lazy pre caffeinated self make breakfast, and for the first time in months she's eating eggs and smoothies and toast and things she's refused for a while now.
I went through my first trimester in this pregnancy being so miserable that I was just trying to get through. "Curious George and bad snacks and let me vomit in peace!" This was immediately followed by a virus that the whole family picked up and then our week long trip. The mama guilt was real and strong. I came home and journaled and prayed and whined to
friends and decided it's time for changes. For Juniper and for myself.
I hope this doesn't come off as a brag post. Because if Ive learned anything about being a mama, it's that I'll be struggling to figure my child out again by Friday and at my wits end and needing to start all over. But that's just life, we do the best we can with what we've got and if I can go to bed each night knowing that I tried my best, I'm counting it as a win.
I can't say when or if I'll allow screen time at home again, I know when we travel next week I'll pull out the iPad and cookies to get through the flight. When we have this second baby and I'm exhausted and learning to juggle 2, I'm pretty sure Curious George will be my babysitter. I can say without a doubt, our child absolutely does life better without television or iPad and thrives when we spend the day outside, reading books, coloring and crafting.
Ps - Bend, Oregon is absolutely beautiful and I'm pretty excited this is where our adventure leads us next. A small mountain town with all the perks this city girl enjoys (whole foods, trader joes, foody non-chain restaurants). As well as 17 miles to the ski lifts at Mt. Bachelor, and minutes from kayaking, hiking, cross country skiing, and a ton of river-side craft beer.
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