Gymboree Play & Music!

Let's just start with stating that I am not a newbie to Gymboree. I started taking nanny babies when I was 18 years old and I'm quite certain I could teach the class with my eyes closed. I've literally gone once a week (or MORE) for consecutive YEARS of my life.  Although I loved the kids I nannied and was proud of them when they accomplished new things, it is nothing to the momma pride I feel when I watch Juniper! 

At almost 11 months and only our 2nd class, she acts like a seasoned veteran. She climbed things I didn't know were possible for her, she clapped with the teacher and the songs and she speed crawled through the obstacles like she just knew how. I was shaking and full of pride! (Haha - no, the shaking was the 3 cups of coffee and no food I consumed to get us out of the door so early) but I was definitely full of pride :) 

She is an extremely brave, determined, independent little girl. When she thought I wasnt looking she would book it to the other side of the room, then cackle when I came after her. When I put my hand on her bottom to steady her when climbing, she actually turned around and used her tiny hand to push mine away! (Ouch!) 

A little boy grabbed her shirt and pushed her down to take her toy. She sat right back up, mean-mugged him, snatched the toy back and turned her back where he couldn't reach it again. 

She's the youngest in the class by a few months and the only one not walking yet so I figure I'm allowed to let her stand up for herself however she can? We will figure out manners later. 

Anyways, this was the highlight of my day and I am so thankful I get to be the one to take Juniper to the class every week. She's my favorite. Seeing her little personality shine makes me so excited (and terrified) for the future. ❤️

Bittersweet

And after 10 months... Daddy finally gets to feed Juniper a bottle ❤️💔

Juniper got sick almost 2 weeks ago, on top of all 4 top teeth trying to come through. She quit nursing! As a mommy I was panicking because my baby wasn't eating, I was sad because nursing ended so abruptly and we have such a good nursing relationship and I was super exhausted because Juniper would be up every night from 1-4am - hungry but refusing to eat.

I'm positive it was a nursing strike, associated with stuffy nose and hurting gums. And where most babies usually come around and start to nurse again, Juniper is very headstrong and I truly just don't see her going back to nursing. (She didn't like bottles? Never took them. Hated purees? Straight to finger foods.) I tried all the tricks. Walked around topless. Co-bathing. Trying to nurse when she first woke/was tired/was fast asleep. Trying after Tylenol and teething tablets and a wet rag on gums. Tried to trick her with a bottle or syringe first and then switch to breast. She wasn't having it. I syringe fed her pumped milk for 10 days. 

Then last night she finally took a 3oZ bottle from dad in the evening, then a 3oz bottle from me at bedtime.  Then she slept 9 glorious hours straight. NINE. She woke at 4:30, drank 2 more oz, then slept til 7:30am. Unicorns and rainbows and all the magical things!! 

She is of course refusing them today, but she has a stuffy nose and is constantly rubbing her gums. Poor baby. 

I bought formula today. I was embarrassed. I felt inadequate buying it. I wanted everyone to know I tried my best and I just can't pump enough. I don't judge anyone else for formula and I know second to breastmilk it's the healthiest thing we will ever feed our babies, but my goal was no formula. Exclusively breastfed for 12 months. But Juniper  had other plans. I'm still accepting this. So far she won't take the formula but I think that's more because she's not feeling well than anything. 

I'm still going to pump as much as I can. But as soon as she's taking formula and it's not worth it to pump anymore (like pumping 5x a day for not even a whole bottle-) I am going to be done. 

10 months is an amazingly long time to exclusively breastfeed. No date nights. Minimal caffeine. Nursing 2-4x a night because that's just what Juniper wanted. No help because Chris can't nurse her 😂 there's so many pros and cons to be moving past this stage in Junipers life. Pro? I've already lost 6lbs. I was an unlucky one who held on to the weight when nursing non stop. Another pro? Daddy and Juniper can bond a little more and he can do some night time feeding. Another pro? Girls night. 

I'm sad and happy it has come to this. Sad that our amazing nursing relationship has ended. Happy that we made it this far. Sad this Juniper doesn't need me in quite the same way anymore. Happy that I'm her mama and she will always need me. Sad I did not get to mentally prepare myself for Juniper to be finished nursing. Happy that we didn't have some long drawn out complicated weaning process. 

As long as she's happy and healthy, I'll be fine ☺️