Thyroid 🙄

I've spent 7 years trying to figure out how to "feel better" and lose weight. More important than the weight gain, was figuring out the exhaustion, muscle pain, and swollen face. I started out on synthroid in 2010 where a doctor told me "bad news! You have hypothyroid and need medication for the rest of your life. Good news! You will lose the weight you've gained and the brain fog will go away and you will feel amazing" I was young and naive and I believed her. I did no research. Just trusted her and my little synthroid pill. I then gained 50

More lbs. Everything hurt. I couldn't concentrate or focus and my nannying jobs that I loved went from fun days to work. I spent 3 years like this until we moved to Colorado and I switched to Armour thyroid. (It's natural dessicated pig thyroid and isn't often prescribed without some pushing from the patient.). I switched and felt so much better. I still

couldn't lose weight. I still couldn't grow my eyebrows back. But my body didn't hurt and I had a little more energy so I took it as a win. This pregnancy I wasn't responding well to a higher dose of armour. With many tears and frustration they convinced me to take a small

Dose of synthroid along with my armour. Fine. Your synthetic drugs that gave me serious depression. I'll do it because this growing baby needs it. Fast forward two months in, and regardless of normal

Pregnant symptoms and exhaustion, I am starting to feel like the old me. The energetic, motivated, OPEN EYED me. (See pic!). My eyebrows are growing back. Last pregnancy I was already up 15 lbs at this point (I gained a total of 55 and didn't lose any after Juniper was born, only the 8lbs of Juniper!) this pregnancy I am down 6 lbs. which is insane considering I can't lose weight even when I TRY. (Don't worry baby is healthy!) I don't know why I'm responding this time around, the doctors believe it's because I was under medicated while in Atlanta. So will this feeling better stick around after baby and we totally switch my meds? Who knows. But for a girl who had totally given up on losing weight, seeing her eyelids or eyebrows again, or not hurting all day, it gives me HOPE!!!! And life is a lot less dreary looking with renewed HOPE! 

Road trip to Oregon! W/ a toddler!

I've read SO many blog and advice posts on "best ways to road trip with a toddler" and "traveling with toddler made easy!"  Y'all, AINT NOTHING EASY about a 20hr car ride with a 19 month old. NOTHING. 

We made it through, she did way better than I could have ever imagined. (Also what kid can be in the car for 11 straight hours and not fall asleep? MY KID). 

She also got non stop iPad usage and portable DVD player. While I stand behind "we couldn't have done it without it", when we got home is was absolutely time to do away with any and all screen time. (Also drastically changed our diets because no matter how hard you try, it's really hard to eat healthy on a 7 day road trip). 

Day 5 into our new rules, and I'm not kidding, Juniper is my sweet fun toddler again. We laugh and sing and play and she PLAYS ON HER OWN again for the first time in months. We're probably reading 50 books a day, but it beats her tantrumming for the iPad and I love reading to her. 

We (I) was getting lax about her food choices. If she refused fruit I would just give her a cracker. If daddy had chips, she could share chips. She would tantrum in kitchen and refuse all healthy snacks and meals and I would just give her something else and let her win. After our trip I started reading about ideal toddler eating and snack schedules (we decided on one where the AM snack can be a simple carb like graham crackers, but the after nap one must be healthy such as yogurt or melon or apples and peanut butter/ cucumbers and ranch/ etx. I also moved dinner to 5:30 so that we wouldn't be giving her an extra snack in there to buy time to a later dinner. Oh my gosh, every night this week she's eaten all the veggies she has refused for months (and second helpings, too!) 

In the morning I used to give her a cup of dry cereal to hold her off until I was awake bough to cook breakfast, then she started refusing real breakfast, snacking all morning, and not eating a good lunch.  I skip the cereal and make my lazy pre caffeinated self make breakfast, and for the first time in months she's eating eggs and smoothies and toast and things she's refused for a while now. 

I went through my first trimester in this pregnancy being so miserable that I was just trying to get through. "Curious George and bad snacks and let me vomit in peace!"  This was immediately followed by a virus that the whole family picked up and then our week long trip. The mama guilt was real and strong. I came home and journaled and prayed and whined to

friends and decided it's time for changes. For Juniper and for myself. 

I hope this doesn't come off as a brag post. Because if Ive learned anything about being a mama, it's that I'll be struggling to figure my child out again by Friday and at my wits end and needing to start all over. But that's just life, we do the best we can with what we've got and if I can go to bed each night knowing that I tried my best, I'm counting it as a win. 

I can't say when or if I'll allow screen time at home again, I know when we travel next week I'll pull out the iPad and cookies to get through the flight. When we have this second baby and I'm exhausted and learning to juggle 2, I'm pretty sure Curious George will be my babysitter.  I can say without a doubt, our child absolutely does life better without television or iPad and thrives when we spend the day outside, reading books, coloring and crafting. 

Ps - Bend, Oregon is absolutely beautiful and I'm pretty excited this is where our adventure leads us next. A small mountain town with all the perks this city girl enjoys (whole foods, trader joes, foody non-chain restaurants). As well as 17 miles to the ski lifts at Mt. Bachelor, and minutes from kayaking, hiking, cross country skiing, and a ton of river-side craft beer. 

(Just realized this is our first trip EVER where Chris and I didn't take a single selfie 😱)