LIVE YOUR TRUTH

I learned a huge lesson in 2017. Live your truth. I heard it echoed again in Oprah’s phenomenal speech at the Golden Globes last night and thought I would expand on what it means to me. In 2017 I decided that I would not be fake, not for anyone. Not to gain new mommy friends. Not to keep old friends. Not to fit in where I don’t belong. I like the woman I am, and the ever-evolving woman I am becoming. I will not apologize for myself, my beliefs, my husbands career, or how I raise my children. I’ve said a few times that 2017 built me instead of breaking me. What I mean is that - I realized what’s truly important to me. The 5 weeks Rivi was in the Nicu - I FELT myself evolving. I felt my fierce mama bear come out as I decided - this is the only thing that is important. Through tears one night I told Chris - THIS is all that matters. My children. My husband. For me to be the best mother and wife I can be, for me to live MY truth, I had to let go of all the other outside factors I had deemed important. Were my friendships and family important? Absolutely. Are they MORE important than my own and my children’s well-being? No. It was that simple to let go. I could not maintain cross country relationships at the same level that I had been trying since we moved away, it was exhausting.  I thought that “looking” like a good mom was important. I tried to buy mom clothes and have makeup on before I left the house, and I hate both shopping and applying make up. I would apologize for my weight. Why am I apologizing for my appearance?! I have major thyroid problems and I enjoy carbs. No apologies necessary.  Last year I stopped wearing makeup altogether and it was so liberating for me. THIS IS ME. My true self. Literally. Freckles and all. Take it or leave it. I want my children to grow up knowing that whoever they are inside - in their soul - when living their truth - that it’s ok to be that person. I don’t want my loud, loving, smart, strong-willed, demanding head-strong daughter to lose those attributes because I and society spend years telling her it’s not acceptable behavior for a girl. Strong-willed, loud, smart woman are who literally change the world. I want my babies to grow up knowing that they have the power to help change the world. So this is my goal for 2018 - continue to live my truth. Whether it’s ugly or hurtful or painful or beautiful and liberating, be who I am. Feel what I feel when I feel it, with no apologies. Stand up for what I believe in, fight for what I believe is right, while loving and respecting those arouund me. I hope in the process my children will learn valuable lessons about what is truly important and that they too, will learn to live their best lives, being true to their selves.